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A True Scary Story

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When I was 22, 2012. My life wasn't going the way I wanted it. The girl I was with at that time our relationship fell apart and still insisted to make the relationship work with nothing to work with. Also at the time my best friend has past away year previous, grieving hard them days and still mourn his death to this day. Also that year I couch surfed every time fought with my spouse, didn't stay at her place long enough. 

I didn't have my parents nor grandparents because they passed before my time or early child hood. Support lacked and still lacks to this day. I was alone, my friends had grew apart from me. My drinking became a bad habit at them times. I obsessed it. Burned bridges. So at that point of my life I didn't think life could got any worse. I've had moments cursing my higher power for pulling my protection and allowing all these bad things happen to me. I walked away and called out Satan to do his worse. Prayed I be left completely alone. I don't need anyone.

My rock bottom I always asked my higher power for forgiveness as much as I was mad at him. I got back together with my family one day. I still was unhappy with what unfaithfulness spouse and I done. Questioning my kids bloodline. Just right miserable. One day I asked god to take me back home. I was dead serious. Went to bed with the kids and their mother. I wanted to die with out self termination. The women woke up for work, kissed me good bye and gave me daddy duties for the day. I still had in the back of my head "take me back home, I want to see my father and ancestors". Fell back to sleep with my kids, wasnt long I opened my eyes and just got up. I sat up and walked towards bedroom door, I looked back to see if my kids would get up and follow. 

I ran an Anxiety, shocked and scared shitless to see my body laying there with my kids snuggled up to me on both sides of my arms. I stood there panicking and came to realize my prayers being answered. I than started to float up and about 6 feet height. I was still staring at me laying there with my kids. Daughters on each arm, sprawled out. I said my peace to my daughters. I prayed they would forgive me and i love them. I asked my god to take me home now. I floated up 3 more feet, crying and sobbing. Staring at my kids. Floating up backwards still staring at my kids. The walls only grew long, must've been 20-40 ft high. Myself, the kids and the room shrank like the carnivals ferris wheel gazing at the town at heights high. 

I was crying all the way up staring at my daughters. I felt a warm lively energy radiating against my back. Like when a baby is newly born and feels mothers warmth for the first time. It was heart warming. I climbed/floated just a bit higher, I never broke eye contact from my kids. I got higher and higher sky scraper height. I then asked to be return to my kids. Just like that I fell to my body, made contact and I gasped for air. Brushing kids off arms. I was then still opening my eyes as if I came out of black out from being choked. Felt a migraine going on and veins electrofy shock through body. I was weak. I breathed till I was able to move.

At those days I didn't care about it. Now that I've turned my life around with finding a place of my own and kids visits with a hand full of friends and even though some friendships aren't working out or plans get stomped on. I am thankful to be alive and coming out of rock bottom slowly. Loving life one day at a time and no there all ain't good days.

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